Even If You Had The Money To Do So, Would You Really?
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If you want something, you’ll eliminate all possible excuses. If you don’t, you’ll find any excuse.
Every decision in life works out this way. We have a choice to move forward or stop ourselves. We are the only ones in our way and when it comes to our perception about money and our ultimate fantasy life, it’s the same deal just amplified.
Comparison is the theft of joy. We all know this already but can’t seem to block it out since we are infatuated and addicted to strangers’ lives. It’s pretty creepy. Instead of ‘saving to make it’ we ‘fake it to make it’ online and for the Joneses across the street. I can’t imagine how many people are living in debt, depressed, and unhealthy simply to please others. It’s a sad reality. Our photoshopped and superficial online lives are becoming more expensive and people aren’t willing to weigh what’s necessary in their lives in terms of what they need versus want anymore.
This is where the problem lies. We are convinced we need something because others have it. We upgrade, post, scroll all day everyday obsessed with a life we don’t have not realizing how grateful and lucky we already are. What’s so wrong with what you have now? Money won’t fix it all. It will only blur your problems in the near-term then escalate them further later on.
If you pay attention to what you don’t have, you are guaranteed to be miserable and never satisfied. The truth is, you will never have everything because there is something someone always has that you don’t. We are all addicted to something on different levels. Whether it’s chocolate or exercise, workaholism or partying, we all dream of an unrealistic reality where if we got what we wanted and life would be easy in whatever way we wish, we would have max happiness and most importantly, life would be the best.
The problem is that our perception versus reality vision is extremely blurred. We are horrible at predicting the future. Just look at 2021’s predictions made 30 years ago. According to researchers and scholars, we were told we would be operating flying cars, have robots in our home, live like the Jetsons, and be able to zap ourselves in a different dimension. Meta just started and sounds like a wreck! We can all agree our perception is extremely misleading and we do it to ourselves all the time, especially when we have late-night snacks.
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
We all do it and are guilty of it. As species, that’s how we survived. We had to make split-second decisions on whether to trust an animal or not. Thankfully these days, we aren’t in these precarious and deadly situations but our mind still takes us through a flight-or-fight response system which is extremely draining, taxing on the mind, and leads to delusion.
Until we reinforce to ourselves that what we assume usually isn’t the truth, the more satisfied and content we will feel in various areas of life. Once I stopped being active on social media, I not only appreciated the small things that couldn’t be replaced, I took inventory of my time, sanity, and became healthier, mentally and physically. It was transformative and impossible to quit at the time, but afterwards, it was the biggest breathe of fresh air I’ve ever exhaled. The grass isn’t greener on the other side but we aren’t convinced of it until we step across it and get stuck in the mud, see the broken fence, divorce papers, mortgage payments, looming bankruptcy, broken friendships, and family troubles. No one would ever expose that to a stranger.
Online and in real-life we clearly choose what we want to portray. We have a choice to show our good or ugly side. We prefer to lean onto comfort and show off our strengths, goods, luxuries, skills, accolades, titles, you name it, instead of vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and faults due to lack of self confidence, fear of judgement, and insecurity. I’ve never understood others’ compulsion to make others feel jealous. I assumed it was a sign of weakness on their end but I can’t blame them since it’s engrained in our culture today to look like a supermodel and supermom.
The last thing I want to make people feel is weak or timid since I then feel horrible about myself. I feel best when others feel special and heard. Self-deprecation, humbleness, being modest, and not showing off through the stealth wealth frugal lifestyle are the best tools not only in terms of building generational wealth but also to be able to uncover layers about yourself. Being comfortable in your own skin, not showing off, and being your authentic relatable and personable down-to-earth self couldn’t be more useful for your career and opportunities.
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We’ve all day dreamed of a life with no worries, X amount in the bank, and pure bliss before. Sometimes we dream too much and waste time from improving what we can.
The funny thing about the brain is that it cannot differentiate between the present and the future. If you live like there’s no tomorrow and your ultimate life is your present life, your brain will believe you. We are the easiest person to fool because our brains can be dangerous. They can be foolish for the ideas we believe based on our assumptions and our brains can be dangerous for the things that we say to ourselves.
Imagine the best day of your life or one that seems like a fantasy.
My dream day would look something like this:
-Wake up 6am (same wake-up time as I’ve had for the past 3 years)
-Eat breakfast (same breakfast as I have now)
-Workout for 1 1/2 hrs-spin, elliptical, pilates or bike (same as I’ve done for the past 6 years)
-Go to work with courageous, inspiring colleagues and strategize on something meaningful and impact to drive humanity forward
-Have lunch with my colleagues outside
-Take some time off to read nad catch up with the markets
-Take my dog out and walk alongside an area with a nice view
-Have dinner with colleageus
Notice anything SAME, SIMPLE, or BORING about it?
Kinda gave it away there but the truth is, if I want something, I go get it. I make the best out of what I have and work with it. There are a lot of things you can change for free starting now that can turn your world upside down. A jet ski won’t make you more appreciative. Although I’m still a student and working full-time isn’t a current option, I have dreams that I will be working with the best colleagues full-time one-day!
FYI. I’m 21 years old. I don’t think most 21-year-olds would think this is an ULTIMATE day. Why? Because they compare themselves to celebrities and haven’t experienced what the beauty about life really is which is hidden in the simple things. Youngsters aren’t able to picture what really matters in life which starts with friendships, a drive and motivation to learn and work on something, be healthy, and eat and be merry!
The best things in life are priceless and irreplaceable. What you have, you already have inside of you. Your constraints allow you to break free and create something that you probably wouldn’t want to bother starting if you had zero constraints and limitations. Our barriers aren’t boulders, they’re bridges to conquering what we need and want.
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Our ultimate dream life usually consists of lavish goods and excurisions to far away places because those things aren’t the norm. We want what we don’t have and there’s nothing wrong with that but you will be miserable forever if you believe you can’t be happy with what you have now. Going to Greece and living on the beach sounds fun for a few days, maybe weeks, but after that, how much longer can you take naps and sip margaritas? Life gets boring quick and meaningless without purpose and a drive to test, create, and twist our brains. Look forward to succeeding at failure and proving to yourself what you are capable of! Put the phone on DND on vacation and actually enjoy it so when you get back home you will work smarter and be grateful you took a trip and can continue working to help afford you another trip.
Our chances of being born on this earth were zero to none. We can’t waste it by going on vacation for the rest of our lives or assume with more money, a mega-mansion, and tangible materials will make us feel better.
Of course you want a 10-bedroom home with 6 pools, a gold course, tennis and basketball court, bowling alley, sauna, you name it TODAY because you don’t have it TODAY, but once you receive it, I guarantee you, you won’t feel great about it soon after. You will be as happy as you were with none of it. Impossible to believe but a hard truth in life. It will sting since there is always something more you could buy and after a certain amount of items and most evidently income, your levels of happiness plateaus.
Thankfully day dreaming is free but having more come into your life is costly. Even if you are able to delegate all tasks, cleaning, sweeping, budgeting, assisting, for your properties and assets, at the end of the day, we are humans and need to be loved, cared for, and feel appreciated to really feel we are living right. No NFT will make you feel that way. Billionaires are as unhappy as impoverished citizens. Just because one earns more, doesn’t mean they need more or should upgrade their fake lifestyle. Everything you have could be working for you today and scaling it could tarnish it.
It is extremely tempting to buy more with more but it rarely gives us anything back in the end. With homeownership, various costs arise with renovations, mortgage payments, HOA fees, utility bills, maintenance, landscaping, and safety concerns owning more.
More money, more problems.
As a 21-year-old, I’ve been fortunate to learn from those with a lot more than me and understand where their mindset is. They could care less about tangibles, country club memberships or owning a Hamptons home compared to those with less than 1% of their wealth. The ultra-wealthy understand it’s usually more of a hassle than a convenience to own more. They earned money because they enjoy their work. Money is a byproduct machine not an addiction or compulsion to buy more goods.
Isn’t that what money should provide? It should make our lives easier not a bit pleasant for a couple days then disastrous. If you want to go on vacation to a new island each year, it’s more logical to stay in a hotel than have a house on each island. Even if you could afford to do so, it would be a waste of your mental energy and time dealing with more properties since they are still on your mind at some point in time.
Money should drive you to get to a better place. If it isn’t, you need to scale back. Yes, and it’s possible to do so even with more than you can imagine.
The best feeling derived from success isn’t what you’ve proven to others, it’s what you’ve accomplished and the change you’ve witnessed within yourself. Money can never buy that raw authentic feeling.
Stay prudent, frugal, and embody the stealth wealth lifestyle to stay secure and humble. Don’t show off or fake it till you make it. Buy what you need, not what you want or can. Save till you make it and once you do make it, realize there’s a lot more work to keep up this lifestyle and your brain will need a reality check before it’s too late.